Maleficent Fiends of Doom and Terror, Part 2 : Dr Gogol in MAD LOVE (1935)

This man wants to be Pygmalion. Now all he needs is a woman unlucky enough to play Galatea...

NAME : Gogol.

OCCUPATION : Surgeon. Correction - a really great surgeon.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS : Bald. Short. Bug-eyed. Massive overcoat (black). Snappy dresser. Slight trace of a German accent. Occasionally prone to going out of an evening wearing dark swimming goggles, a big hat, a neck brace and large metal hands.

ORIGINS : An eminent surgeon operating in Paris. Gogol is an expert in transplants for amputees and is said to work mainly with deformed children and mutilated soldiers.

KNOWN ASSOCIATES AND/OR INFERIORS :Yvonne Orlac (the object of his unhealthy attention). Stephen Orlac (the cursed husband who also happens to be quite a big pianist). Dr Wong (assistant surgeon). Land lady (often drunk). A pet cockatoo. A waxwork of Yvonne in his bedroom (every home should have one).

PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION : To conquer science. To possess Yvonne or failing that to stalk, dupe and cajole her husband into situations of murder, circus tricks and depravity. Will achieve this through wearing dark glasses, a large hat and biiiiiiiig metal hands. Oh, and amputating Mr Orlac's hands following an horrendous train crash, and replacing them with those of a recently executed murderer. Simple.

PRONE TO SAY : " Each man kills the thing he loves!! "

AMBITIONS AND DESIRES : To watch every single performance of the beautiful and talented actress Yvonne Orlac from his lonely, shadowed box. To send her flowers, pay her compliments, take every opportunity to caress her fingers or fur coat, and then lock her away in a room somewhere so no one else can see her ever EVER EVER! Yvonne. Or failing that Yvonne's extremely life-like waxwork figure (purchased from Les Theatre des Horreurs). Well it's a talking point, eh? Also enjoys viewing public executions (preferably by guillotine).

TEMPORARY SETBACKS, TRIVIALITIES AND IRRITANTS : She's married. Bugger.

FIEND SCALE : 7 out of 10.

ANYTHING ELSE : He's 100% nuts.

Maleficent Fiends of Doom and Terror, Part 1 - Professor Marcus in THE LADYKILLERS (1955)

This man is a master brain.

NAME : Professor Marcus (possible alias).

AGE : Mid 50s.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS : Poor posture.. Big teeth. Dark overcoat. Grey scarf. Whispery silver hair.

PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION : Rent a room in a house close to King's Cross Station. Pose as a member of an amateur string quartet. Rob an armoured van of its contents (60, 000 pounds), and hide said contents in a luggage trunk. Use little old lady (Mrs Wilberforce - land lady) as a 'mule' to pick up the loot from the station. Retrieve swag with or without possible casualties (associates or otherwise).

KNOWN ASSOCIATES AND/OR LACKEYS : Mr Louis Harvey (a vicious hood from the continent with experience in certain "matters"). Major Courtney (a gentleman con artist and coward). Mr "One Round" Lawson (the muscle, a brutish towering simpleton). Mr Harry Robinson (cockney spiv also with cowardly tendencies).

PRONE TO SAY : " You musn't make me angry. "

AMBITIONS AND DESIRES : Armed robbery. Thinking up complicated schemes of criminal genius. Killing little old ladies.

TEMPORARY SETBACKS, TRIVIALITIES AND IRRITANTS : Aversion to birds particularly parrots. Feigning interest in the stories of little old ladies. Endless cups of tea offered by little old ladies. Having to listen to Boccherini's minuet (3rd movement) from String Quartet in E, Op. 13 No. 5. Playing the piano and having a " sing song " with large groups of little old ladies. Having to risk apprehension, humiliation and disgrace. The police. Being told he is crazy. Little old ladies.

FIEND SCALE : 8 out of 10.

ANYTHING ELSE : Don't mention the booby hatch.