Wednesday, 2 June 2010

RICH LIST # 4 : The Genius of Wile E. Coyote - His 15 finest schemes and inventions (with help from ACME)

The fifteen finest schemes and inventions of Mr Wile E. Coyote - Genius.

1) ACME ASPIRIN (from BEEP BEEP - 1952) - Not a device to help capture road runners or rabbits, but necessary to avoid pain when falling from mountains, cliff ledges or when boulders fall on your head.

2) ROCKET ON WHEELS (from BEEP BEEP - 1952) - Travels forward at great speed to keep up with and eventually catch road runner. May shoot upwards and explode.

3) ACME ROCKET POWERED SKATES (from BEEP BEEP - 1952) - A variation on the rocket on wheels idea but with increased personal control. Possibly too fast. No brakes.

4) PRESSURE COOKER (Plan 1 from OPERATION RABBIT - 1952) - To be placed over rabbit hole after applying ingredients. Check first, however, for other rabbit hole entrances and do not look down original rabbit hole to look for rabbit.

5) EXPLOSIVE RABBIT DECOY (Plan 3 from OPERATION RABBIT - 1952) - Fake clockwork rabbit decoy with carefully hidden dynamite. Look out for possible coyote equivalents.

6) ACME BIRD SEED MIXED WITH ACE STEEL SHOT (from ZIPPING ALONG - 1953) -When all else fails. Mix bird seed (staple diet of road runner) with small steel balls. When consumed the bird will be powerless to escape the Giant Magnet (also available in ACME catalogue). Once employed be aware of nearby metal TNT barrels.

7) ACME FEMALE ROAD RUNNER COSTUME (from READY, SET, ZOOM! - 1955) - A simple idea to deceive the road runner. Once the coyote is correctly attired the bird will be unable to tell the difference between him and a possible mate. Not to be worn around other coyotes.

8) ACME BAT MAN'S OUTFIT (from GEE WHIZZ-Z-Z-Z - 1956) - A tight green costume with huge wings which enables you to glide. Warning! Look where you're going.

9) UNIVAC ELECTRONIC BRAIN (from TO HARE IS TO HUMAN - 1956) - A massive state of the art computer complete with Rabbitscope (self assembly only). Capable of delivering you the answer to any question. Ideas include helping decipher the combination of locks on rabbit holes, substituting carrots for grenades, and putting dynamite in rabbit's vacuum cleaners.

10) ACME DEHYDRATED BOULDERS (from SCRAMBLED ACHES - 1957) - Tiny boulders in a packet. Just add water and the boulder will instantly return to its original size and weight. Warning! Fast acting.

11) ACME DO-IT-YOURSELF TORNADO KIT (from WHOA, BE-GONE - 1958) - Solution that creates artificial tornadoes. Includes ACME water pistol to spray on solution to activate tornadoes. Do not spray too close to self especially when close to minefields.

12) ACME INDESTRUCTO STEELBALL (from WILD ABOUT HURRY - 1959) - A simple but ingenious device to crush the road runner when propelled down a hill. Not to be used around mountain ledges, rivers, waterfalls, train tracks and minefields.

13) GIANT MAGNET (from COMPRESSED HARE - 1961) - First trick rabbit into consuming metal carrot then use Giant Magnet to drag in helpless rabbit. Warning! The magnet is extremely powerful and may also attract other metal objects including buses, cruise liners, the Eiffel Tower and rockets.

14) GIANT CATAPULT WITH BOULDER (from TO BEEP OR NOT TO BEEP - 1963) - A classic device to crush victim with boulder. However, do not stand behind, in front, to the side or underneath catapult in case of injury. And absolutely do not stand on boulder if the catapult has failed to fire.

15) MASSIVE RADIO CONTROLLED METAL COYOTE (from THE SOLID TIN COYOTE - 1966) - An exact likeness of the coyote. Can run, hunt and kill all road runners. Behaves exactly like coyotes.

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