The Evil That Men With Facial Hair Do, Part 3 : Prospero in THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH (1964)

Name : Prospero.

Height : 6 ft (6.5 in very silly hat).

Notable Others : Juliana (Prospero's wife and future bride of Satan), Francesca (a red headed wench), Alfredo (sadistic lecher).

Status : Prince, Tyrant, Castle owner.

Distinguishing Features : Handsome. Middle ages. Foppish. Fine clothes made of velvet and silk. Silly hats (very). Tights (very).

Prone to Say : " I'm not corrupting. I'm instructing. "

Likes : Beating peasants. Running over peasants. Masques (or other social gatherings to show off wealth and power). Making peasants beg for mercy/their lives/food. Burning a peasants village to the ground. Red headed wenches. Sword fights to the death involving peasants. Rewarding homicidal dwarves with gold for fine jests. The Lord of Flies - The Devil. Humiliation (others). Death (others). Watching dwarves dance. Silly hats.

Dislikes : The colour red (unless on a lady/wench's hair). The Red Death. Love. Anything nice.

Interests : Falconry. Wenching. Satanism. Interior decoration.

The Evil That Men With Facial Hair Do, Part 2 : Edward Lionheart in THEATRE OF BLOOD (1973)

Name : Edward Kendal Sheridan Lionheart.

Born : 1915.

Died : 1970.

Cause of Death : Suicide (plunged into the Thames, although no body was found).

Height : 6 foot (7 foot in afro wig).

Notable Others ; Edwina (his daughter).

Occupation : Actor - The greatest Shakespearean actor of his generation.

Awards : Critics Circle Award in 1970 (unofficially, but his by right).

Usual Appearance : Handsome. Distinguished middle aged gentleman. Moustache. Occasionally wears disguises (fake beards, afro wigs).

Prone to Say : " I am well, it is you are dead, " or " Dishy, dishy. "

Other Persona's : A police officer. A surgeon. A Scottish masseur. A hairdresser called Butch. A French celebrity chef with his own TV show (' This is Your Dish ').

Known Repertoire : Julius Caesar, Troilus & Cressida, Cymbeline, The Merchant of Venice, Richard III, Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, Othello, Henry VI Part 1, Titus Andronicus, and King Lear.

Likes : Acting. The plays of William Shakespeare. Jumping off tall buildings. Stabbing critics. Dragging dead critics through the streets by horse. Beheading critics. Drowning critics in wine. Cutting out the hearts of critics. Driving critics to murder their wives. Electrocuting critics. Cooking the pets of critics. Force feeding critics their pets. Fencing. Running rings around the local constabulary. Awards. His daughter Edwina.

Dislikes : Critics. Being told his performances lack originality by critics. Critics.

Interests : Cold and bloody vengeance, in the style of the plays of the immortal bard, upon those who deliberately humiliated him, those who denied him the award which was his by right, those whose overweening malice gave the award to a twitching, mumbling boy and denied his GENIUS.

Recording of Previous Performances : Here.

Anything Else : Knows how to make an exit.

The Evil That Men With Facial Hair Do Part 1: Matthew Hopkins - WITCHFINDER GENERAL (1968)

Name: Matthew Hopkins

Occupation: Witchfinder

Starsign: I know not, for I am not a witch...

Height: 6"2 (7"2 with hat)

Distinguishing Features: Handsome, bearded, well dressed gentleman. Not an unkempt lout.

Favourite Method of Torture: Stabbing the witch several times, often on their backside, in search of the MARK OF SATAN. This is known as ' witch-pricking '. If no pain is felt, and if no blood flows, then Satan is in residence. In my experience, Satan has never actually been found in this way but it matters not for Satan is the LORD OF LIES and is often hidden well upon the witch. It is also good sport.

Likes: Forcing WITCHES to confess through various extreme forms of interrogation including TORTURE. Dunking the witch in water to see if they sink or swim. If they float then they must be hanged, and if they drown then they are the innocent. It is a simple, fair test. Subjecting innocent wenches to private interrogations in their bed chambers. Execution.

Dislikes: Witches. Those who seek to protect witches. Witches.

Interests: Oh just the usual burning, hanging, dunking and torturing.

Location: Essex, but I have travelled all over the East of England in search of those who have been corrupted by SATAN. I may be found here.